There are two types of comparison. Which one you do?

Comparison is the death of joy.

- Mark Twain

Since our childhood, we have gone through comparison to others on many occasions. In childhood, we got compared for academics. When we started working, we have been compared

with others basis their performance. Everywhere, we face this issue of comparison. 

I would say that "Stop comparing yourself with others." We must learn to compare constructively. It will help us in increasing our confidence level to do better. Many of you will think that If I will not compare myself, how would I get to know where I stand? Where do I need to improve? You are right. But like I mentioned that we must learn to compare constructively. 

Let me share a short story to give you more clarity.

There was Mr. Sharma, his wife, and their son. Ankur was a very studious boy. He always used to score highest in the class. Everything was going normal. It was his board exams. Like any other kid, Ankur had too much pressure on him. He had to score high in his board exams. Mr. Sharma made sure that everything is available at home. Ankur will be at home only doing studies. The Board exams were over. The result came out. Ankur stood 2nd in the class. It came out to be a disaster for him. He was now getting compared with other kids of his age. The pressure was so high that his parents didn't even realize that they were doing the wrong thing. One day, Ankur's mother knocked on the door as it was too late for his school. But there was no response from his end. She called his father, and both started knocking on the door. Finally, they had to call the neighbors, and they broke the door. We all were shocked to see Ankur hanging with a ceiling fan. 

Medical and Police staff came. They tried to give the SOS service. Soon they declared that Ankur was dead. Police investigated the matter, and it came out that Ankur was going through pressure. Every single day, he was getting compared with others. He never got appreciation except for criticism that broke his confidence level hand he opted for this step. I would request all the parents to stop comparing their kids with other kids. Your kid is the best. Always motivate him to do things better. 

If Ankur's parents have constructively compared him with his past performance, it would have been a different situation. There are two types of comparison.

 

• Constructive Comparison
• Destructive Comparison

Constructive Comparison: I would call it friendly comparison. It will have a direct impact on you but in a positive way. When I decided to lose weight, I compared myself with my past photographs. I kept on telling myself to be the same I used to be. It automatically triggered into my brain, and I joined the gym. After a month, I saw changes in myself. I compared myself to the time when I was overweight. It increased my morale, and I decided to work hard for weight loss. It is the best example of constructive comparison.

Destructive Comparison: I would call it a silent killer. It pushes you back from your current position, and you lose everything. You feel like a loser. The example of Ankur says it all.

A few points for a Constructive Comparison are:

1. Always remember, not all fingers have the same shape and size. But they have their specific role to perform. 
2. There is always a chance to improve. Keep learning & Keep growing.
3. Stop thinking about what others say?
4. You can do much better because you are the powerhouse.
5. Very important to remember, Failure - the preparation of success.

These are the tried and tested methods. It always works. 

In the end, I would say Don't go for a destructive comparison. Go for a constructive comparison, and outshine.

All the best!

Regards,

Moloy

(To read in Hindi, click here)